


Parents

by Holtzmann1998



Series: Being Kates Girlfriend [11]
Category: Kate McKinnon-Fandom, Saturday Night Live
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann1998/pseuds/Holtzmann1998
Summary: Kate has a surprise for you, but it's not the kind of surprise you thought it was.





	

“Hey, babe, what time will you be home from work?” Kate asks you over the phone on your lunch break.  
“Usual time.” You reply as you pick at the lunch Kate made you bring to work.  
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”  
“Please don’t be a dog.” You say.  
“Better!”  
“No more cats.”  
“It’s better than a cat.”  
“Well, you’re not pregnant.” You let out a small laugh before you realize who you’re talking to. “Kate, please tell me you didn’t.”  
“I kinda did.” You can tell she’s smiling. “We’re going to be parents!”  
“Kate! Are you kidding me?” You try not to yell. You feel your hands shake and your stomach form knots.  
“Ju-” You hang up your phone as your boss walks in, unable to hear Kate’s sentence.  
“You okay?” He asks as he sits at the chair placed in front of your desk.  
“N-no, sir.” You sigh. “To be honest sir, I’m not a drinker, but after the news my girlfriend just gave me, I think I may need to start.” Your boss let’s out a hearty laugh.  
“What’s wrong, kid? She getting a cat?”  
“N-no, sir. She told me we’re going to be parents.” You say, still shocked at the news.  
“Adoption, bone marrow, donor, or surrogate?” He asks, a knowing smile forming on his face.  
“I don’t know I mean I never saw anyone come to the apartment, she’s never said anything about doctors and we’ve never talked about being parents.  
“Look, kid, I like you. You’re a good worker. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off to get yourself together? Calm down and get your head on over the weekend. I was just like you when my husband told me we were going to have Junior.” He pulls out a picture of his husband, their adopted son, and himself.  
“Thank-you, sir.” You say.  
“Anytime, just don’t make a habit of having kids out of the blue.” He grinned.  
“I promise you, I won’t.” He nods, gets up, and leaves. You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Kate is calling you. You ignore it. A text from Leslie comes in at the same time.  
“Congratulations mama!” It read.  
“How long did you fucking know about this?” You reply to her.  
“About a week. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal, I know you aren’t a big fan of kids, but it’s not like it’s forever.” She replied. “And a little less attitude would be appreciated.” The ring tone on your phone dies as Kate’s call goes to voice mail. In a few seconds, she’s calling again.  
“Leslie, I hate kids. I can’t stand the screeching or the crying or the shouting or the constant need for attention or the responsibility! I can’t remember to feed myself half the time let alone a child!” You ignore Kates call.  
“I’ve noticed you’ve lost some weight but I didn’t want to say anything.” You shut off your phone in frustration and shove it back in your pocket. You gather your things, throw your lunch in the trash, and walk out of work. You know you should go straight home to talk to Kate, but you decide you’ll need to be drunk to do it and stop at a local grocery store.  
“Uh, I don’t know what any of this is.” You say to yourself as you look at the long isle of alcohol. You’ve never drank before. You decide on whiskey, despite how cool the many bottles of bright blue liquid look. You grab a few bottles of root beer and check out.  
“ID please.” A woman with a nasally voice says. You dig in your pocket for your ID and hand it to her. She looks at it, then at you, then at it, then at you.  
“Would you like my drivers license too? How about an old college ID or my FOID card?” You say irritated, knowing you’d feel bad about it later. She shoots you a glare, types something into her keyboard, and hands you your ID. She tells you the total and you pay in cash. She hands you your bags and the receipt and you walk out of the store. You walk home with your mind buried in your thoughts. “How the hell am I going to care for a baby? There’s no way I’d be a good mother. I can’t remember to take care of myself and I’m supposed to help Kate raise a tiny Kate?” You think to yourself. “Oh god.” You think. “Two Kates. A mini Kate. I love Kate to death, but one is more than enough.” You still feel weak and sick when you reach the apartment building. You take the elevator up to your floor and pause when you reach the door of your apartment. You freeze in front of the door. Once you walk through there, your life would change forever. Nothing would ever be the same again. We’re you ready for that? You mentally slap yourself. Ready or not, you were going to be a mother. You’d be a crappy one, but you’d try your hardest. You take a deep breath and force yourself to not vomit in anxiety. You place your hand on the door and jump when you hear a thud on the other side.  
“Why won’t you answer the phone?” You hear Kate whisper to her phone.  
“My boss came into my office.” You say slowly from the other side of the door. “I turned off my phone and never turned it back on.” There’s silence. Suddenly, the door the thrown open and an angry Kate looks at you. You avoid her eyes. Your hate it when she’s angry, but she looks so cute when she’s angry, but she’s also strong when she’s angry and doors get slammed.  
“Get in the apartment.” She glares at you as she steps to the side, allowing you to enter.  
“So, we’re going to be parents.” You say awkwardly as you walk to the kitchen, set your bags down, sit at the kitchen table, and take out the whiskey.  
“Why the hell did you buy that?” She asks.  
“I’m going to need it because we’re going to need to talk.” You shrug. Kate sighs is irritation. You try to pry open the bottle to no avail. Kate watches you fool with it for five minutes before she finally grabs the bottle and opens it like a pro. She refuses to hand it to you.  
“You’re talking to me sober.” She says. “So start.”  
“It’s, um, unexpected that you and I are, um going to, you know, when we’ve never even done, you know.” You feel your face getting red and your body shakes with anxiety. Your chest tightens as you begin to breathe quickly. “I don’t know, um, how to, like, say it, but I don’t know how, um, it happened, I mean, b-biologically speaking i-i-it’s not p-possible.” You feel tears forming in your eyes as you begin to stutter. “But whatever it you decide to do, I want to do it with you and be there with you every step of the way and I’ll try to be good at it.” You say quickly. You look at Kate. She’s giving you a confused look.  
“How many of these bottles have you had?” She asks. “I have no fucking clue what you’re taking about.”  
“The baby, your, I mean, our baby?” You say, equally confused. “You and Leslie said we are going to be parents. Doesn’t the mean you’re-”  
“Okay, stop talking.” Kate sighs. “I’m not pregnant, dork. Leslie and I were kidding. You and I are watching my cousin's newborn daughter for the weekend.”  
“Oh, thank god.” You sigh. Kate sets the bottle of whiskey on the table.  
“A child is something neither of us are ready for. I’m too into my career and you can’t even remember to feed yourself if I’m not around to tell you. There’s no way we are anywhere near ready for a child of our own, maybe a cat, but not a tiny human. Especially one like us.”  
“So many pipes would be clogged with sticks.” You say in numb awe. You felt drained and tired and relieved all the same time.  
“So many potential alcoholics.” Kate smiles, showing her dimples as she nods to the bottle on the table.  
“I was never taught social skills, or problem solving, or how to handle stress, or how to react to different situations. I’m basically going off what I’ve learned from TV.  
“You need to stop watching TV if that’s what you learned.” She rolled her eyes. “Do something with that and help me baby proof the house.” She says as she walks out of the kitchen.  
“What am I supposed to do with it?”  
“Drink it!”  
“I’m not drinking it. I’m just going to store it somewhere.” You shrug.


End file.
